Everyone knows that letters and written languages are probably the worst thing to happen to anyone ever. They complicate the world and are, at the base level, the reason for every argument to ever take place. So let’s turn this dimension on its head. Can You Beat Elmo’s Number Journey Without Attacking Anyone? Mitten Squad Discord:
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Can You Beat Elmo’s Number Journey Without Attacking Anyone? (in text form)
Breathe it in. Inhale. Outhale. Smell that? That’s a high quality puppet right there. Now because my inability to make important decisions while under duress, I ignored Elmo’s cries for me to pick a difficulty setting so he could finally escape that retched landscape calling itself a menu. Once the game had broken me down completely and understood everything that defines me as a person, it chose Medium for my difficulty setting, and I was finally back to Sesame Street. The first thing that’s worth mentioning is that just like everyone in the Mitten Squad Discord Server, Elmo is not allowed to end. Self-end is, despite the ample supply of balloon strings that could easily be turned into a noose, off limits.
Before traveling with the wizard, I spent some time pestering Ernie with the prospect of friendship by walking back and forth in front of him, making him think I wanted to speak to him only for me to keep on walking. I was voted the quietest guy in my high school class, I know how loud Ernie is screaming exclusive his head. It’s kinda fun to be on this side of it. Also, and this is not relevant to the video in any way, I want to make it known that I have a sealed copy of Elmo’s Letter Adventure for the Nintendo 64 and you don’t.
The Count used his numeric powers teleport me to the garden which is basically the same ****ing place as Big Bird’s Farm. I began garden time by trying desperately to escape. It didn’t work, mainly because I got distracted by the dolphin trees. Then I thought I could free myself by failing the vengeful one’s test. In the 2nd round I heard the words from Countington’s mouth and understood what he meant when he said bats. You can collect the number 5 or you can collect the bats. Why that’s an option, I couldn’t tell ya. Maybe it’s for people like me who are especially slow.
What I also don’t know is how slow I truly am, I can’t tell if I’m even moving at all, because I collected the bats at it counted against me. Logic tells us that the Count probably meant you can collect the number 5 or groups of bats that consist of 5 bats. Seemed like a hard trick to me. Count von Count felt the same why, and promptly dragged me into his castle to keep me from making a scene. Not that it would matter, his garden was so far removed from civilization that not even God can hear me.
Fearing for my life, I sauntered through Castle in search of 5’s. Another fun trick of this game is how poorly it runs. Modern computers just aren’t built to handle this kind of a game. Normal computers use 1’s and 0’s as their base. This game has 5’s and 7’s and 9’s and even a few 3’s. That problem can only be solved by limiting the frame rate to ensure your mind doesn’t wander too far from itself.
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